Thursday, September 1, 2011

Ella's Arrival date........

Well we found out when we will be expecting Ella. Although we will no longer be inducing, I am now having a C section. The C section is schedualed for Sept 13th at 730am. We are forced to go this route now because she is too big for me to deliver naturally :( Today she measured in at an estimated weight of 9.6 pounds. Now before you all say, "but this is good", "the bigger the better"and "C sections are not all that bad" I know. I realize all this. Where my problem lies is that my reconvery time from this C section will be ALOT longer now. They expect me to be in "recovery" for at least 3 days and this means, that since Ella will be moved immidatly to her surgery hospital after delivery ( my delivery hospital and surgery hospitals are differnt, they do not deliver babies at Childrens hospital)and although the two hospitals are right next door to eachother, i will not be able to leave my hospital to see her until im fully recovered and discharged. I am super super upset about this. I feel like someone just let all the air out of me. I was so pumped to get to our apt this morning and get JUST ONE piece of good news. All i wanted is ONE drs visit througth my pregnancy where I could leave super excited. But no today once again I had to leave the damn hospital again in tears. I realise this is not the worst thing that could happen. Some may think im over reacting, but im sorry i just wanted to catch a break. Just one. The saying stick a fork in me im done is an understantment for me right now. It doesnt help that she is so big and im so incredibly uncomfortable. I know the uncomforable part is part of being pregnant but She is measuring 2.5 weeks ahead in size and my belly is meausuring 2 weeks behind in size so if you do the math, the room in there is super limited. Last week someone thought i was only 6.5 months pregnant, it just does not make since, i dont know where she is going in there.
Anyways, i know all in all my news could always be worse and I need to be very thankful that she is growing so well and doing so wonderfully still. Her heart is looking the best it can, there is no fluid around it so far so there are no immediate signs of heart failure and these are are WONDERFUL things. I just wanted to see my baby when she is born, just wanted to hold her for one second, get one picture of our family without her tubes, lines, and scars. :( This is unfortunate but as i said earlier not the end of the world, that my baby pull through all that lies ahead of her is what is most important. So I will quit my complaining now. I have been upset all day, crying my eyes out and clearly that is not helping me or making anything any better. SO what do i do now, accept it and move on. It is what is best for Ella that ultimatly matters. And my being so stressed out and upset can not be helping her. A friend of my mother in laws wrote me this yesterday it was advice a friend of hers gave her when she was going though a similar situation "let her hear you laugh, let her feel your love". What better way to help her to be strong than to hear me and feel be beinging strong. She also said,"I am NOT going to stress out constantly and I am NOT going to grieve while she is still alive - I am going to let my baby hear what it sounds like when I laugh and let her know how much she is loved and wanted"- this is exactly how I have tried to go through this pregnancy. It has not been easy, but it must be working somewhat cause she is still here with us now and hey, she is 9.6 pounds so i must be doing something right! thanks for listening to my rant today everyone. If ever i get too down and out in my posts feel free to slap me around a bit or put me in my place, I dont need to pull you all down with me! <3


  1. You are so strong, and already such an amazing mommy! you have every right to be upset by the news you received today but I know that you will take it with grace just like every other thing you have gone through in this pregnancy. you and baby ella are very very loved and i pray that your recovery goes quickly and smoothly for you and your family. xoxo, taryn

  2. Melissa you are very strong and and we women are built with this ability, I know you can do it!!
    I'm lifting you up to my Lord and savior right now that he would calm your heart and prepare you for this journey that lies ahead and pray you get to see your baby as soon as you can!!! Praying for the doctors to have wisdom in their surgeries with Ella and that they would go smoothly.

    Please know I will be Thinking of you!!!


  3. oh sweetie! I'm so sorry you're being tormented yet again. I know you want to be with her asap and we'll all just pray for a quick recovery. But another thing to think about is she gets to come out with ease, not having to work work work so she'll be extra strong for that surgery she'll be going in. Just try to find the bright side of things. I love what Brady's mom's friend said is so true. Laugh and love knowing she is coming! You have the date and you know when she will finally be here. Did you ask them, they do often let a picture be taken but is she a special case they won't let you? Maybe you can get it done anyways to get the special photo. I'll be praying for you as alwasy!!

  4. Hi, you don't know me, but I referred to your blog by a friend of yours. I am a NICU nurse and I just wanted to reassure you that everything you are feeling is soooo normal. Do not feel guilty about anything you are feeing. If you didn't feel any of these things, it would mean that you are not ready to deal with all that is to come. I just wanted to let you know that the NICU team will likely do everything they can to let you hold her and have a picture before they take her to Children's. (As long as she is medically stable etc). Even if you can't hold her they should let you touch her. As you know this is going to be a long journey, one that you will find bad news but surprisingly a lot of good news. Usually the little things become huge. The best advise I can give you is just take it hour by hour. Everyday in the NICU is different and you don't know what a fighter she will be until she is here. Most babies do better than we expect with what they have been given. Our family will be thinking of you and praying for you during this difficult time.

  5. Hi Melissa :) You rant & rave all you want and know that I am with you all the way. If you want to rant...I will listen ! If you want to laugh and smile.....I will laugh & smile with you. :) My love, prayers, kisses, hugs, positive thoughts, fingers crossed what ever you need are with you & Baby Ella. Love, Debbie

  6. I forgot to tell you that my son Michael will be 15 on September 13th and we will be going to get his driver's permit that day while Ella is arriving so we both will say a prayer and wish Ella Happy Birthday !! XXOO